Sleeping Through The End Of The World

ANA11237 Brain Games

I don't know anything
And I'm the worst in almost every way
Funny how my brain works
Every single day hurts
Does anybody out here feel the same?

I could buy a lot of happiness
If I had another dollar
I could use it on a positive expense
But I'm invested
In my own depression
Dividends are helpless
Save me, I'm falling

My own self examination
I don't know the answer lately
Don't wanna trip about it
Don't need to figure it out
Life is just a big approximation

I've been waiting on the world to end
Denominating but I'm not so common yet
And I'll never live up the world in my head

(chorus)
Brain games
Playin in my head
I guess I'm crazy
It's making me upset
The way I question everything
Inside my mind
While everybody else is staring at me
They're equally afraid of their surroundings
I wonder what they think of me
I bet they'll never even look my way
I'm so strange

Every moment feels like the end of a movie
The cool breeze, warm highlights
The perfect soundtrack to these hard times
LSD - love sucks dude
Quarter life crisis
I'm trying to self-love you

I can see crystal clear
And crystal has sides
(Jaw is locked shut, everything is a metaphor)
I try to disappear by closing my eyes
(I can't stop crying, I hope I retain my lesson)

Oh what I could see with my eyes shut
Fields of oversaturated geometric puzzle
They fit in like "it's all good"
And for a second I'm convinced that
Paradise is in my head
Can I be let down?
A seed blooms a flower in my room
Where I sleep in my head
I fly in my dreams

Oh and suddenly I see it
Everything I need is
Right in front of me

ANA11238 Somewhere/Nowhere

I'm so brain fried by the end of the night
I'm kinda scared to stay up
I just wish I could write
Such a big cup of coffee I swim
My high delta waves taking peaks & dips

I've wasted time and time again
Cried again
And I just over-drafted in my bank account again
Free will builds walls for me
Pursuance of passion is mystery

In a perfect world I would like to shine like I'm capable of
I just can't lie to myself anywhere
I'm so self aware

(chorus)
I don't know what's happening
I'm all alone and tragically
I'm somewhere, but going nowhere
With all this social distancing
Is anybody missing missing me?
I don't care
I'm going nowhere

I'm living lights with the lights off
Kinda wish the day would take the nights off
Break it up with my thoughts
Wondering the benefit of my doubt
Hanging by a thread so thin I wear out
But i'm getting there

I'm going through the motions
But I stand still
Freeze, frame, focus
But it's getting real
Everybody waving
Yelling so loud
And I can only listen free
With no sound
Like I'm muted and

I'm looking for a sign that I've connected every dotted "I"
But am I truly blessed for crossing every "t"
And making sure that I think twice
Instead of trusting my intuition
Getting too steep I can't afford the price

I guess could invest in new plans
But when your capital is lower case
You never have the super hand

So many roads that I could travel
Take the lesser land
And thank you Frost, I do appreciate the tips, man

(out)
I'm on my way to somewhere
I don't know where
and no I don't care
I'm on my way to somewhere
I don't know where

ANA11239 Dark Times

*EXPLICIT*

I'm just trying to relive all the sounds of my youth
The only way I remember wring from right
Now I'm fucking old and I see different views
It's so absurd
Let's get faded
The world is belated

I feel like I am going under
That must be hard five days a week

(chorus)
We live in dark times dark times
Everybody going out of their mind
Imma say it now its our time
And they don't even wanna see my side
We live it, a plague in the world today
Everybody keeping their distance
Yeah we live in dark times dark times
Its gonna be fine

In a way we come together in times like these
But what do you think of the example
We set and we follow
It doesn't even bother you does it?
No I didn't think so
I got an education guess that you want a revolution
But you're too afraid to talk about it
Let alone do something
But you gotta be right, get a like, abusive
Maybe you could try for once to recognize what you got
You know it isn't all the same
And you could empathize for once
Instead of trying to make everything about you in every way

If you don't have something nice to say
Don't say it at all
Just keep it to yourself
Cause its better for the rest of us who want change

(chorus)

Is it gonna be fine?

(bridge)
What are we trying to prove
The unusual feeling of being delusional
Nothing is real until its real to you

(chorus)

ANA11240 Fake Happy

Spilling half full glasses
When the silver lining has become too plastic
Actively becoming passive
Aggressively killing all my happiness
But everything is gonna be fine

So why do we go out and stay inside our minds?
When we could just stay in and go out fo our minds?

Introverted life but horizontally complacent
I guess I'll take a rain check on my emotion
Cuz it takes less of my energy to fake it
Focus on the pain less
My ambivalence already feels like a vacation

(chorus)
Everybody's sitting here pretending they don't want to feel
Just to be fake happy
It's hard enough to smile when you want it
But it's harder when you do it just to fake happy
I could be real sad and tell you everything
And I could scream out loud and make you listen to me
But I don't wanna be a burden
When it's personal it's better just to hurt and be fake happy

I got a lot of worries in my head like it's a hobby of mine
I ironically my depressions at an all time high
and I'm addicted to anxiety
I'm overdosing on the worst case scenario
I gotta keep myself clean

Such a hide and seek narrative
Covering the story til I find a way to care again
Paying a tax on my mind
I keep it under the table so when I am able to
So I can keep it all stable

Fake it til it makes you happy
It's easier to settle for less than have it all
The feelings are mixed don't wanna stir'em up
Just keep it to yourself all bottled up
Cuz it's never enough, you know it's never enough

Drink until the end of the bottle
Tell the whole damn world you got problems

ANA11241 2 Weak Notice

(chorus)
I'm giving the world my
2 weeks notice
14 days until I'm broken
What a way to quantify your suicide

I'm on the dock with a deadline
But I don't wanna kill myself
Doubting my ability to follow through again
Why can't I finish what I began?

And why do I always apologize
For doing my best
And I don't wanna be a martyr
But I gotta admit
It almost feels a little harder
To be living a guilt trip
When you're innocent
Even though I kill it most days

I'm afraid of what I'm dealing with
Concealing fear
Experimenting with a feeling
I don't wanna feel
I'm too afraid to live
I'm not afraid of giving in
Humility is now a friend
And I'm okay with it, yeah

I put myself on the front line, yeah
And now I'm back with a crooked smile
I gotta get my head straight
It's been a while..yeah
It's been a long time comin....

(chorus)

I connect to gravity because
My neck is so affected
My head is so aggressive
I'm so busy feeling
Psychedelic healing
I keep searching other dimensions
For things I should deal with
Heroic dose, but I'm no hero
5G down, I'm done with the ego
Still can't adjust the tools
To help me fix my free will
I'm willing to wait awhile
I wonder where my wings go

Bad sheets and busy minds
Late bills
Lotion beside
I'm starting to smell
Enough micro dose to keep me in line
And going out of my mind, yeah

Please please look out for me
I say I'm looking in the mirror
At my soul search
I could fly
But I think I'll look high
Gotta lot of shit to
Get off my shoulders

(chorus)

ANA11242 Silver Lining

*EXPLICIT*

(verse 1)
Oh my only love
It's alright that you feel low
For we're only human souls
And we choose the path we go
That's the silver lining

Learn to build your wall you've got it made
The rising of the ocean
Just in time to make change
Try to look up high and lose yourself
I'm your ground
When your great wall comes crashing down
There's a great big world

(verse 2)
Superhero life
Can only help the one's you're with
Seasonal fruit in the knick of time
Is it pointless now to live?
That's the silver lining

I'm packing all my hope in little pills
Chasing all my fears down a rabbit trail
I'm searching for my muse
We lost touch
Don't wanna fuck this up
I can't burn the bridge to myself
You're brave I know

ANA11243 Tragedy of the Week

*EXPLICIT*

Pt 1:
Who do you call when the murderer wears a badge?
Do you feel small when the problem’s bigger than you are?
It must be hard
When you feel like
You don’t have a voice at all
I’m screaming with you now
Sick of the self-righteous
Shit like it’s a charity
It’s not, what it is - another tragedy of the week
But what can you give
When you don’t wanna give up anything at all
And you still want credit anyway

Pt 2:
Everything is twisted morphing into a sadistic world
A balance of the pleasure and the pain
I don’t know if I’ll ever wake up
Everyone I know and love
Is turning into something
I don’t understand
I thought I knew but now I’m all alone
And I Could use a hug
Going down a rabbit hole
And digging my way out of all
The negative attention
I’ve been paying to myself
I gotta change that
I wanna make a difference
But I don’t know if my vision is enough
Am I legitimate enough?

Pt 3:
Hey this is the voice inside your head
I’m here to tell you things that you forget
Look at all these choices!
The world is filled with choices!
But none of them will ever love you back
They’re not even real
They’re made in factories, they fabricate the toys there
And play us all like boardgames

Pt 4:
Down on myself again
Doubting myself again
I don’t believe I can do anything on my own I’m inadequate
Living in tragedy
The whole world is mad at me
I can see how I could endlessly make up a grocery list of the ways it feels meaningless
Looting my humanness
And now you’re abusing me
Give it a week or two I’ll be old news again
Then you can use me all over
I’m new again
Yeah I am new again
Fuck you, I’m new again

ANA11246 The Good Place

Verse 1:
I don’t know where I am going
And I don’t know where I belong
And when I finally get to the good place
Where I can set all of my things down
I think I’ll stay there for a while
I always talk so much about it
(You ain’t even brave enough)
Like I’m ready to go
(You can’t do it on your own)
Then I think of the consequences of my actions
And it’s not fair to leave you alone

Pre:
But then I imagine all the happiness in letting go of it
Surrender again I’m giving in
But then I think of the guilt and what a trip it’s gonna be when I can feel myself taking
My last breathe
At least I finally feel something again

Chorus:
Now I’m right where I belong (I’m right where I belong)

Verse 2:
Back to things the way I like it
(left, right, left)
Back to the push and pull of life
Sweet mundanity is like friendship with no benefits
And I need to feel good

Verse 2 Pt 2:
There’s a world in my head
Where I go
when I don’t wanna feel anymore
I forget who I am
And pretend that it’s all gonna end

Pre 2:
The fantasy of dying alone is such a terrifying visual I don’t know if I want it all
If only I could open my eyes and be home

Out:
Back in the world
Everybody’s living like it didn’t even happen
Back in the world
I don’t wanna go back to my loop...

ANA11247 Soul Revival

Verse 1:
Glory, glory is the feeling that you get
When you empower a change
First you break down
Then you take down
Every picture from every page in your memory
A story, story is an imagery
That found comfort in your eye
Some are fiction, or non-fiction
What we preach on
The contradictions
Every time I try to look away
It’s like the whole world changes I can’t think straight

Chorus:
It gets lonely
So lonely
Gotta get up out my home
And get up on my soul revival

It gets lonely
But don’t hold me
Gotta get up on my own
And get up on my soul revival

Verse 2:
22 catching up
Gotta make a big move
But I’m stuck
Got me hanging on my roots again
But Imma bloom when the sun comes up
Got a moon in my daytime now
Everything is falling into place right now
Took a while to find myself
And I still get lost sometimes
The push and pull of life
Know who I am
Then I don’t but it’s fine
There’s a light at the end of it all
It’s a complicated situation
And it’s all related somehow
I don’t know
I’m tired of questioning
The reason for everything
When the meaning never matters anyway
I’m fine with the answer
I don’t need the accessories
Cause I got everything I need

ANA11248 Low Power Mode

Stanza 1:
I've been crazy stuck in low power mode
Can't connect to anything but my phone
Who put you in charge to bring me back up
A hundred percent is never enough

Verse 1:
My life is insignificant enough to never live it
I like to hide behind a screen because I'm better hidden
And all my memories are delicately decorated
Painted with a filter
Presented like an exhibition
This is a stream of consciousness without the buffering
No need to syndicate I'm on demand and lovin' it
My virtual reality is all I need to feel like everything is meaningful as long as I can plug it in

Chorus:
Its like my head is in the cloud right now
And I think I'm running out of space
I can't even save myself no
I don't have a backup
Only had my plan-A
Its like my head is in the cloud right now
And I think I'm running out of space
How do I erase myself
I'm running out of battery

Stanza 2:
I've been crazy stuck in low power mode
Can't connect to anything but my phone
Who put you in charge to bring me back up
A hundred percent is never enough

Verse 2:
Its kinda like the way a profile shows a different side of you
Hiding who you really are
Just to show the world life is beautiful if you ignore the ugly parts
Life isn't a highlight
And you are not a movie star
And you don't have to be
You don't need another sticker
A filter to pretend that you are happy when you really feel inadequate
In fact I know you're not alone because my phone is also running out of battery

Chorus:
Its like my head is in the cloud right now
And I think I'm running out of space
I can't even save myself no
I don't have a backup
Only had my plan-A
Its like my head is in the cloud right now
And I think I'm running out of space
How do I erase myself
I'm running out of battery

Out:
Plug me in
Charge me up
Cause I'm running out
Its got me feeling down
Plug me in
Charge me up
I'm running out of battery

ANA11249 Life is Poetic

Chorus:
I started dying
The day I was born
I’m already expiring
I’m sure that life is poetic
But I don’t think I get it

Verse 1:
Gotta gamble or pay a price
Life in a way is a paradise (pair a dice)
Look at the beauty in everything
I don’t know why I’m so terrified
I guess I’m
Afraid of the consequences of
Pretending I understand everything
Where am I?
I’m navigating aimlessly every day
And I’m waiting to see if I care or not

Pre-Ch:
I don’t wanna waste another minute
Gotta live what I’ve been given
And do something with it
I’m feeling heavy on the inside

CHORUS

Verse 2:
Life is so limitless
I feel so limited
Why don’t I ever fit into it?
Cutting my losses
I’m trying to win again
Waning my interest
Splitting the difference
(I don’t understand, why is it my life feels secondhand?)
If you ever feel like you are never
Ever gonna be enough
It’ll get better whenever you let it
Don’t give it up
I just hope you know
That you are not alone

CHORUS

ANA11250 Renovation

Verse 1:
Woke up this morning
Feeling lonely
Like I’m waiting on the world to end
So sick of rain
Pouring champagne
To celebrate my unsupportive friends
Some people think that I’m a joke I don’t know
Maybe they are onto something (maybe they’re right, yeah maybe)
Kind of funny, kind of sad
I’m out of money, kind of glad I can’t afford to fix me

Chorus:
We all could use a little renovation
Couldn’t we?
So tune me up until the string breaks
Or relatively functioning
Whatever will work

Verse 2:
What I’m feeling is revealing
I don’t want to fit the mold of life
(I’m not a calculated estimate)
Within a purpose is the reason
To remind to survive
(I just don’t know if I’m enough to recognize it)

CHORUS
Bridge:
I’m an organized mess
But I clean up nice
I don’t wanna second guess I just wanna think twice
About my life
And the things I need
Somebody shake me
Somebody wake me
I’ve been sleeping
Through the end of the world
Whatever will work
I don’t wanna be a normal person
Is it worth the extra work
If nobody will notice me?

ANA11251 Sleeping Through the End of the World

Stanza 1:
Always running away
From my problems
Shutting them off like alarm clocks
Guess I’m sleeping through the end of the world
Now all of my days are dreams
And all of my dreams are leaving me alone
So I’ll let go

Stanza 2:
Maybe imma wake up tomorrow
And make up for the time I lost
I’m always borrowing what I can’t return
Putting my best foot forward
Going through all of the motion but I’m stuck
I go in reverse

Stanza 3:
Retroactively blame myself
For reasons I don’t even know yet
And I get mad at things that I can’t control
It’s a spiral effect in my mind
As if the world is out to get me
Im finally Okay
until I’m not

Stanza 4:
There’s a light at the end of my life
Even though it gets dark sometimes
I’m still glowing at the thought of moving on
Still figuring out my strengths
And maybe I could be the bigger man someday
But now I’m small
But I’m looking up