Have You Ever? I've Always

ANA11446 Like A Bullet

Throwing up on my basement floor
Same *F*CKED Up *SH*T that I did before (*cut out!)
Still in the running as this cities next star
They say people never change yeah?
Watch me raise the bar!

I know you see me as a rescue case
Put a trash can by my bed next to my face
But I got a notion im a lion inside
Even when i'm feeling rough
Yeah, it's alright

I’ve been waking up early as *F*CK (*cut out!)
I've been driving when i really shouldn't
People staring like im dirty as rust but,
I’ve been thinking that im guilty like a bullet
I’ve been thinking that im guilty like a bullet
Shotgun trigger and i didn't mean to pull it

Sha!

And I know i'm living like a pretty parasite
Cuz i'm leaning on my friends again and never satisfied
I’m through with anything that doesn't get me high
If you can accept they we are , we should say goodbye
You can blame it on my mom
You can blame it on my dad
You can blame it on the psychiatric help I never had
And if you know me well, you know there's not a plan
Just tryna understand what the *F*CK it means to be a man! (*cut out!)

Been taking drugs since the sun came up
I’ve been dropping when I really shouldn't
You never know what you're really scared of
Till you're meeting with the front end of a bullet
Till you're meeting with the front end of a bullet

And I know you see me as
A demon in your head
You got me going over stupid shit I might have said
And I want you to believe. In everything you see
When you hear my song inside your head it’s like a prophecy And I know you see me as
A demon in your head
You got me going over stupid shit I might have said
And I want you to believe. In everything you see
When you hear my song inside your head it’s like a prophecy

Everything I love I tend to destroy
Seen it my eyes ever since I was a boy
Nothing could ever be sweet like this
Take me down to the river and
Give me a Kiss….

Been taking drugs since the sun came up
I’ve been dropping when I really shouldn't
You never know what you’re really scared of
Till you’re meeting with a front end of a bullet
I’ve been waking up early as *F*CK (*cut out!)
I’ve been driving when I really shouldn't
People staring like Im dirty as rust , but
I’ve been thinking that I’m guilty like a bullet
I’ve been thinking that i'm guilty like a bullet
Shot , Shotgun trigger and I didnt mean to pull it.

*ORIGINAL ALBUM VERSION EXPLICIT*

ANA11442 Just Fine

Sometimes I can’t believe my eyes
We live like we wanna wanna die
Reveling at the sight of our own demise
We’re all miles away almost half the time
My dreams keep me down in this city like
Concrete Poured on a fly
And most nights
I believe that the super stars are out and in the wrong light
Is it more like being a ghost?
Well I’ve been doing it,
Just fine I’m Just Fine
Just Fine Without You
I’ve been doing it.
Just Fine I’m Just Fine
Just Fine Without You
Just Fine, Just Fine.
I'm Just Fine.

Everynight it feels just like I’m drowning
It's a beautiful sound but its way too loud
But your in my scene so I’ll stick around
We’re all playing the game like everybody else right?
Falling in love with everybody every night
I feel like i’m going to lose myself
If i never try to get outta here

And it's no surprise
We kinda hate each other and we don't know why
Well it’s not like , we ever spoke
Well I’ve been doing it,

Just Fine I’m Just Fine
Just Fine Without You
I’ve been doing it.
Just Fine I’m Just Fine
Just Fine Without You
Just Fine, Just Fine.
I'M JUST FINE!

Sometimes I can’t believe my eyes
We live like we wanna wanna die
Reveling at the sight of our own demise
We’re all miles away almost half the time
My dreams keep me down in this city like
Concrete Poured on a fly

Well I’ve been doing it,
Just Fine, ,Just Fine
I’m Just Fine!!

ANA11447 Wedding Night (Pink Noise)

I think that I,
I can't stand
Don't wanna find myself in the gutter
Quite serious, Almost Mad
Catch me Curious and out under cover

I was a bad friend and you forgave me
I don't know how
Framed in her perfect world
I know that she hates me
And I'm just her clown
Standing up and Falling down.
Yeah Yeah, I don't know what to do about it

Shifty kinda Night
Went by her house again
It didn't feel right, it's really not fair
Sat on her driveway and ,
I cried a little bit
Said goodbye to another life, again
It's getting used to this
I don't wanna do
The ringing in my head is SO SO LOUD
All I experience , All this Pink Noise
Feels like a Locomotive in my head

I was a bad friend and you forgave me
I don't know how
Framed in her perfect world
I know that she hates me
And I'm just her clown
Standing up and Falling down.
Yeah Yeah, I don't know what to do about it now

See me hanging in shady spaces
Hope I didn't get too *f**cked tonight ((*cut out))
Find me wondering round my *sh*tty apartment ((*cut out))
Hope I didn't let you down alright
I understand you better than my own heart beat
Hope I didn't wreck your wedding night, I
Just another man who can't say goodbye.

*ORIGINAL ALBUM VERSION EXPLICIT*

ANA11444 Like A Dog

I want to be strong
I want to be free
I would die for you
Would you die for me?
I can see it in your face
Everytime we fall from grace
We just keep going through cycles,
Yeah
I’m living in a state I cant afford
And I’ve been thinking
It’s probably more than I can bear

Don't wanna go insane
Or stay in my own lane
Each day a repeat it's just over and over
I may live here but, I will not die here
I refuse to live my life like a dog rolling over

And I’ve been keeping myself on a short chain
If I chase a feeling, will I get back a reason?
I’ve been leaving myself out in the rain
There’s gotta be a home for me somewhere , out there

I’m living in a state I can afford and I’ve been thinking
It’s probably more than I can bear, but
There’s nothing I can do.
My life is halfway over.
I don't wanna get any older

Don't wanna go insane
Or stay in my own lane
Each day a repeat it's just over and over
I may live here but, I will not die here
I refuse to live my life like a dog rolling over

If I, If I, get back to myself
Will I, will I find
Will I find someone else?

And I’d like a break, but there’s too much at stake
I’m a mile away from the things
I want to add to my own name
And I will shine like gold
I know I can’t be told
I will rip right through your dreams
I’ll find a way to never grow old

I won't accept that shame
We’ll drip the southern vein
We’ll take them all together
We know that we’re what matters
My friends are full of grace
Say I love you to my face
We will not live our lives like dogs rolling over
We will not live our lives like dogs rolling over
And I wonder if you're trying to
roll me over.

ANA11448 Windy

She used to look at me like I was always up to something
She said “don't take me no fool”
I swore that I was “only trying to be very nice”
She said “but you never do!”
I know you’ll side, for peace of mind
And I might as well find the door
Fold me back into the tube I came in, supersized
You were always so sure

Yeah I hope that you know
My love was never for show
I wish I could pick up the phone and say
That I’ve never been the same

Woo hoo!

I gotta leave this place and If I dont I think I’ll die
You know the south ain't my home
There’s limits here and I could never ever live a lie
And I don't like being alone
And now she’s trapped
That place in time
These days i'm losing my mind
Yeah, and I’d give anything to hear her speak one more time
How do I live for both lives?

Closer now to the sun
She was always the one
My heart drops when I hear he name
Yeah I hope that she knows
My love was never for show
I get the feeling when I go insane
That i’ve never been the same.
Yah i've never been the same
There’s nothing left inside
Now that the wind blows through my brain

Woo hoo!

I never wanted things to change, but they did
Could you hide me inside of your place again?
I was always going to follow you
But now you're following your mother and me
Your ghost connects us
Allows me to follow my dreams
Yeah Yeah!

Woo hoo!

ANA11440 Have You Ever?

No we don't wanna fight each other
We look at one another like a brother
And at times it’s hard to be there for ya
But I’m by your side,
Even when I don't wanna

And I’m sorry when I get frustrated
Sometimes I yell and I know that you hate it
And we’re better than this
You say it alright
But it’s fear* like this
Keeps me up in the night
I bet anything
you’re gonna change my life
Yeah you’re just the kinda weirdo that I want by my side
You were never looking for a quiet friend
I won't pretend oh yeah
I don't give in cuz

I will always love you
I will be your kind
Sing with me forever
You’re the best part of my mind
Have you ever noticed
When we’re lost and out of place
You’re searching for the answer
I’m just staring at your face
Have you ever?
Have you ever?

And I love you like a sister
You feel like something so familiar
And i’ll never let you down I promise
If I said that I will be there
You know that i’ma gunna
And I know that you’re feeling kinda weird tonight
But I'm just the kinda freak (FREAK!)
That your parents might like
We were never meant for the quiet life
This was by design oh yeah
Our hands are tied and,

I will always love you
I will be your kind
Sing with me forever
You’re the best part of my mind
Have you ever noticed
When we’re lost and out of place
You’re searching for the answer
I’m staring at your face

Have you ever?
I’ve always
Have you ever?
I’ve always
Have you ever?
I’ve always, Always Loved You

I will always love you
I will be your kind
Sing with me forever
You’re the best part of my mind
I know all those forces
Are trying to bring us down
There's no one else worth fighting for
Unless you are around
I will be your Best Friend
I hope I am your light
I can tell you anything
But I will not say Goodbye
Have you Ever noticed
When I’m lost in and into space
I’m searching for the answer
You can see it in my face

Have you ever?
I’ve always
Have you ever?
I’ve always
Have you ever?
I’ve always, Always Loved You

*original album version: fear= shit
*ORIGINAL ALBUM VERSION EXPLICIT*

ANA11443 Better

Think I need to find a better
Way to fall asleep again
Should I rip myself from this tether?
The night she is my only friend
I guess we might as well get married
Yeah the sunshine breaks, my heart it bends.
I’m afraid of what I am becoming
And I feel the darkness closing in , yeah

Well If I should choose
To waste the sunlight
I’ll never get away
from feeling like I never tried
I won't accept that fate
Just you wait
I’m gonna show you why

Said I think I need to find another
Sea of freaks to call my friends
Well I want em so bad but it feels like a challenge
I’ve been looking at the night like it’s something to win, yeah
Get a wide brim hat and play a blues lick , country?
Maybe yall will like me then?
If I act all straight , stop working on a sunday? (little boy you better obey the lord)
Said maybe yall will like me then. Yeah Yeah

I don't know what it’s like
To have a normal life
When I escape this state
I’m gonna have a good time
Well i'm just so tired waiting for the sun to rise

Think I need to find a better
Way to fall asleep again
Think I need to find a better
Way and try to make new friends

ANA11449 If You Saw Me Now

It’s been a long time
Since I saw your face
And I wanna know why
We ever stopped talking in the first place
I know there must have been a reason
I can't put my finger on it now
Still living withoutchya
Your memory lingers on , but

If you saw me now
What would you wanna say?
If you asked how I’ve been doing
Well, I‘ve been doing okay
Had some ups and downs
Since you stopped coming around
And as simple as it sounds
You know where I can be found
If you saw me now

We didnt have as much in common as I thought we did
And now i'm thinking of the hours and the times we spent
We should have grown together
Instead we grew apart
So don't be mad cuz I saw you for who you really are
Don't take me for granted
Cuz I’m still waiting on an answer *d@mnit (*blurred out)

If you saw me now
What would you wanna say?
If you asked how I’ve been doing
Well, I‘ve been doing okay
Had some ups and downs
Since you stopped coming around
And as simple as it sounds
You know where I can be found
If you saw me now

Don't take me for granted
Cuz I’m still waiting on an answer *d@mnit (*blurred out)

*ORIGINAL ALBUM VERSION EXPLICIT*

ANA11450 Fake Friends (Party with Ghosts)

I’m so sick of
This illusion
Fake friends have got me in delusion
And i’m never gonna be that fool
We tried again, lovers to friends
Back and forth forever yeah
High school never ends
And I know that you're my sunlight
And I was like the cowering Moon.

And I said,
I believe that, Yes I believe that
I believe that, you’re that one that tried to save me
And I can see now, Yes I can see now
I can see now,
I’m the one that pushed you over
I’m the one that pushed you over
Fake Friends Party With Ghosts

She said you’re all alone
And you don't even know
A light has left your face and I
Keep giving it a home
But I’m not consequential
You can have back your control

And I said,
I believe that, Yes I believe that
I believe that, you’re that one that tried to save me
And I can see now, Yes I can see now
I can see now,
I’m the one that pushed you over
I’m the one that pushed you over
Fake Friends Party With Ghosts

I find myself alone
That why I party with ghosts
I find myself alone , yeah
These apparitions oh,
I might as well just party with ghosts.

ANA11445 Scarlet Letter

A celebration
With expectation
Every time I turn another age
Guess I’m waiting for the right time
But is there ever?
To put myself on display
Uh!
Hang me on a wire
Throw me in the fire
Tell me It’ll be okay
I don't wanna fight chya
I just might surprise ya
Who's to say?
Yeah!

Sometimes I lie, I don't really wanna die
It’s like my own scarlet letter
All that you see is some version of me
Would the truth feel like surender?

A revelation, A confrontation
I, think about it night and day
Guess i’m waiting for the next life
But will I ever?
Recognize another face?
Uh!
Maybe it’s Alright
and maybe she’s just fine and
No one ever really dies
As I move on
Into the light
Her memory survives.

Sometimes I lie, I don't really wanna die
It’s like my own scarlet letter
All that you see is some version of me
Would the truth feel like surender?

And I guess I only find this life was never mine
Is there any way to shake this pressure?
If she were alive and me the one that died, I can't say.

Guess I only find, this life was never mine and
Why do I get to keep on living?
If she were alive, and me the one that died
I can't say…

Yeahhhh Woo!

Sometimes I lie, I don't really wanna die
It’s like my own scarlet letter
All that you see is some version of me
Would the truth feel like surender?

And I guess I only find this life was never mine
And why do I get to keep on livin?
If she were alive and me the one that died,
I can't say.

ANA11451 Awkward

I’ve been thinking about that awkward moment
We broke up, I bought some weed and you stayed the night
Do you forgive me? Or Am I forsaken in your mind?
Yeah...
I kinda wonder what your friends said about me
I kinda wonder what your new man thinks im about
Don't get me wrong. I’m so happy your married
What do I have to show?
Is this what it feels like growing old?

Nanananana Awkward.
Nanananana So Awkward

Six months later after Aiko passed away
I was too far gone, and you were too in love to say
“I'm getting sick and tired, you’re always getting stoned
Get your *shi*t together, you're going to be alone. (*blurred out!)
A steady job, a good wife, a happy home
I want a different kinda life!
It’s me that’s suffering!
It’s me that gives!
Me that’s gonna live without you,
You, you can't forgive.”

Nanananana Awkward.
Nanananana So Awkward

I don't hate you
I hope that you don't hate me too

*ORIGINAL ALBUM VERSION EXPLICIT*

ANA11441 First Curse (I Can't Hide)

Curse I know I’ve grown
First one I’ve ever known
That fear of being tucked away
Into the unknown
I look at you and your life
I think , why isn't it mine?
I gotta keep the faith one day
My face will shine , yeah

What gives me the right
To feel like I do?
I wanna be myself sometimes,
I'd rather be like you
One foot in the gutter
One foot in the grave
I take these chances till I’m
Great someday cuz

I can't hide what I’m feeling
I , can't hide what I’m feeling
I, can't hide what I’m feeling
Been waiting for things to change
Waiting for things to change.

So I ask my friends
Am I a good man?
Yeah I ask my friends,
Am I a good man?
And do the words I say have meaning behind them?
Do the words I say have meaning behind them??

What gives me the right
To feel like I do?
I wanna be myself sometimes,
I'd rather be like you
One foot in the gutter
One foot in the grave
I take these chances till I’m
Great someday cuz

I can't hide what I’m feeling
I , can't hide what I’m feeling
I, can't hide what I’m feeling
Been waiting for things to change
Waiting for things to change.

What gives you the right?
What gives them the right?
What gives me the right ?
To feel like I do?
Is it real?
To feel?
Is it real? To feel like I do?

I can't hide what I’m feeling
Been waiting for things to change
I’m waiting for things to change.